This topic is something that I get asked about a lot. As most of you know, I chose to study abroad with my boyfriend, Cameron. Whenever I talk to friends and family from home, they always ask me how our relationship is going, and if it has been affected by studying abroad together. So I am here to give you insight on what it’s like to travel with your significant other without killing them.
First of all, traveling with your s/o is not easy.
You learn so much about them, being around them 24/7, through stressful times and frustrating travel mishaps. Sometimes you want to kill them, which is normal. There’s a semi-famous quote by Bill Murray that goes “Take [your significant other] and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world, and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you’re still in love with that person, get married at the airport.”
I think about this quote a lot when I get frustrated. Studying abroad and traveling on your own is hard. It’s not like your family vay-cay to Hawaii where your parents plan everything and you rent a fancy car and drive to wherever you want and blah blah blah. This kind of travel is finding hostels, catching trains, sitting in airports for hours, navigating without WiFi, and doing everything on your own. Not. Easy. And of course, this is going to be frustrating. You are going to get annoyed with anyone you come in contact with when you miss your bus or can’t figure out what line to get into to try and get into a damn museum. But if this person happens to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, really try not to get mad at them. I guarantee they are just as confused and frustrated as you, and at the end of the day when you sit on a hill overlooking the sunset of the new country you just conquered, you won’t even be thinking about how angry you just got at them for not knowing how to do anything, just like you.
I think about this quote a lot when I get frustrated. Studying abroad and traveling on your own is hard. It’s not like your family vay-cay to Hawaii where your parents plan everything and you rent a fancy car and drive to wherever you want and blah blah blah. This kind of travel is finding hostels, catching trains, sitting in airports for hours, navigating without WiFi, and doing everything on your own. Not. Easy. And of course, this is going to be frustrating. You are going to get annoyed with anyone you come in contact with when you miss your bus or can’t figure out what line to get into to try and get into a damn museum. But if this person happens to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, really try not to get mad at them. I guarantee they are just as confused and frustrated as you, and at the end of the day when you sit on a hill overlooking the sunset of the new country you just conquered, you won’t even be thinking about how angry you just got at them for not knowing how to do anything, just like you.
People may judge you.
Just like anything in life, people are going to judge you for your choices. I chose to study abroad with my boyfriend. Do people understand why? No, probably not. Studying abroad is supposed to be about “finding yourself” and “independence”, and studying abroad with your s/o is apparently not the way to do that. But, if I can’t “find myself” or be independent with a boyfriend in my life, then what the hell am I doing? Being in a relationship shouldn’t deter from me figuring out who I am and who I want to be. I am allowed to have a boyfriend and still be independent. And if you can’t do that in your relationship, then good fricken luck dude. I get so frustrated when people don’t invite me to things or include me in trips because they assume I just want to be with Cam, or they don’t want to invite the couple along. I have taken trips without him, and vice versa. I am my own person, and he is his. We have our own interests. We do things separately. But god forbid I want to see the world with my best friend. Basically, do what makes you happy and screw the haters (is “haters” still a term that’s used?).
You will get close... like scary close.
Honestly, I have never felt closer to Cameron than I do now. After living and traveling with him for 4 and a half months, I have learned so much about him. He has seen me during my worst and best moments. During every break down, PMS mood swings, shameless craving indulgences, drunken dances, burnt dinners, and everything in between. I know more about him than sometimes I feel like I should, and he knows me down to my core. Like, I have pooped with him in the next room. Milestone? I think so.
Fights will happen.
Relationships are hard. They are. Whoever said being in love is easy is either stupidly misinformed or they are Nicholas Sparks. Just like anything in life, relationships take work. But love is worth the occasional fights and disagreements. We have fought about everything there is to fight about, and worked through every single one of them. When you love someone, it is easy to get lost in them. The hardest thing is to stay who you are, stick to your values, and not be afraid to fight for that. Relationships are about compromise, but you should never compromise who you are for your s/o, and if they expect you to, say goodbye. Luckily for me, I have a boyfriend who accepts me for who I am, and I can’t even explain how grateful I am for him.
It is all worth it.
All of the frustrations and judgement from others make you appreciate your s/o even more than before. Cam and I spent Valentine’s Day in Paris, France, popping champagne in front of the Eiffel Tower, and our One Year in Amsterdam, goofing around and eating more food than humanly possible. I have spent the night under the stars in the Sahara Dessert in Africa, with him right by my side. I have made so many precious memories with him. People ask me questions along the lines of “if you guys break up, won’t it be hard to look back and see that a lot of your memories have him in it”. My answer is, yeah it would be hard. But I have never been happier than I am right now. So no matter what happens in the future, I will have memories of the greatest times of my life with a man who made me happier than I ever thought possible. How can that ever be a bad thing?
I decided that I would rather spend 5 months traveling the world with him than spend 5 months missing him. Regardless of the judgement and hardships. So many people in my program have cheated on their s/o while here, or they spend so much time missing them. Granted, a lot of my friends with boyfriends have taken it like champs and stayed loyal and fun, and I will forever admire them for that. It’s not that we didn’t think our relationship would last through the 5 months apart, we just didn’t want to miss each other for that long. And if you had the opportunity to see the world with someone you love, wouldn’t you take it?
I decided that I would rather spend 5 months traveling the world with him than spend 5 months missing him. Regardless of the judgement and hardships. So many people in my program have cheated on their s/o while here, or they spend so much time missing them. Granted, a lot of my friends with boyfriends have taken it like champs and stayed loyal and fun, and I will forever admire them for that. It’s not that we didn’t think our relationship would last through the 5 months apart, we just didn’t want to miss each other for that long. And if you had the opportunity to see the world with someone you love, wouldn’t you take it?